Obligations Don’t Exist

Resilient maxim on transforming perceived obligations into empowering opportunities.

Perception Influences Reality

Our perception of obligations shapes our reality. However, there is literally nothing in this world we HAVE to do.

Every moment contains an opportunity for free will. The ability to decide belongs to each one of us.

This perspective shift can transform how we approach every aspect of our lives, from daily tasks to life-changing decisions.

Necessity is an Illusion

Everything one does, or doesn’t do, is ultimately a choice, not an obligation. Each decision carries consequences, but the power to choose is still ours. This plays out across all life domains:

Health: You don’t HAVE to eat well or exercise. There are performance and health benefits in doing so, but it’s not necessary to live.

Professional life: You don’t HAVE to go to work. Not showing up may lead to getting fired, but even the money you make and the conveniences it pays for are all luxuries. You could live a full life without any income, either off the land or through welfare systems.

Relationships: You don’t HAVE to love your children, significant other, or anyone else in your life. Choosing not to will negatively impact all of you in countless ways but the choice is still yours.

Living: You don’t HAVE to get out of bed. Stay there long enough and others will probably come to your aid to help you remain there until you’re ready to get up.

Basic Needs: You don’t HAVE to drink water. You’ll die in approximately three days without it, but it’s still your choice to consume it or not.

There are consequences to all decisions and it’s your own fault if you don’t like them.

Pressure of Perception

Our relationship with perceived obligations often reveals deeper patterns in how we approach life.

Under-performers often feel intimidated by the weight of imagined necessities, leading to procrastination or avoidance. Mindset shifts from pressure to manageable decisions encourage agency and engagement.

Over-achievers frequently take on excessive responsibilities, mistaking opportunities for obligations. Burnout becomes likely when perception suggests we MUST excel at everything we continuously take on. Reframing our endeavors as choices rather than “must-dos” decreases perceived burdens, paving the way for prioritization and effective execution.

Perception of necessity can plague mental states; however, a simple modification in our language can promote resilience.

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Practical Steps for Perspective Shifting

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Notice Your Language

When you catch yourself saying "I HAVE to," pause and rephrase it as "I GET to because..."

Examine Your Choices

For each perceived obligation, ask:
- What values does this choice align with?
- What alternatives exist?
- What consequences am I willing to accept?

Empower Yourself

Use self-awareness and early intervention on obligatory thinking patterns to insert control into every moment. Reflect on opportunities within your mindsets to begin making choices that better reflect your true priorities and aspirations.

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From Burden to Opportunity

Every moment presents a decision—not a burden. By consciously reframing our perceived obligations as opportunities, we can take ownership of our lives. This mindset shift transforms our relationship with daily challenges into a source of resilience.

Life is a gift.

Every task, decision, and even adversity is an opportunity.

We don't HAVE to wake up; we GET to begin a new day.

We don't HAVE to work; we GET to contribute and grow.

We don't HAVE to care for others; we GET to build meaningful connections and love.

We don't HAVE to face challenges; we GET to develop resilience.

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Worthwhile Reflections:

What are the three most stressful tasks in your life right now?

How might viewing these as choices change your approach to each one?

What opportunities have you been overlooking because of your perceived burdens?

What is one mindset shift you can make right now?

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Summary

The quality of our lives often reflects the quality of our decisions.

How we live and decide to process our perceptions is a never-ending choice.

Remove your obligations.

Shift from HAVE to GET.

Make your decisions consciously, rationally, and intentionally.

Change your perspective to change your life.

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Comments from current subscribers:

Kyle Shepard, a man whose life embodies the very essence of resilience and Stoic principles. As a military Resilience Instructor and father of three, Kyle doesn't just teach mental toughness – he lives it. He's a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belt, former world record holder for burpees, and has spent over a decade teaching warriors how to stay strong under pressure. But what truly sets Kyle apart isn't his impressive credentials. It's how he's transformed personal struggles into wisdom, combining Stoic principles with real-world experience.

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